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Mens rules

 
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Diane
jammy
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Joined: 22 May 2006
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Location: North Notts

PostPosted: Fri Feb 01, 2008 15:20 pm    Post subject: Mens rules Reply with quote

The Man Rules­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­

At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down finally, the guys' side of the story. (I must admit, it's pretty good.)

We always hear 'the rules' from the female side. Now here are the rules from the male side.

These are our rules!
Please note.. These are all numbered '1 ' ON PURPOSE!


1. Men are NOT mind readers.

1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Sunday sports, It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become Null and void after 7 Days.

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know how to do it best, just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colours, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a colour. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say 'nothing,' we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine... Really.

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as football, cricket, cars, bikes or fishing.

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!

1. Thank you for reading this. Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight; But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.

Pass this to as many men as you can - To give them a laugh.

Pass this to as many women as you can - To give them a bigger laugh.
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Gordy
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Joined: 28 May 2006
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PostPosted: Sun Feb 03, 2008 3:45 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Men are silly, why cant they read minds? Why cant they do what we want them to do without having to ask? Why cant they say what we want them to without being prompted?

Tut tut!! :laugh
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Diane
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PostPosted: Sun Feb 03, 2008 8:38 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Do we really understand them and do they really understand us :laugh :laugh
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dragonluvver
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PostPosted: Sun Feb 03, 2008 13:08 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

nope, that is why we have a word called divorce!!! LOL x xx
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graham
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Joined: 08 Jun 2006
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PostPosted: Sun Feb 03, 2008 13:44 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

see thats the probs with you women, you just dont understand men. we have simple tastes and simple pleasures in life and you give us such a hard time,lol. i have now masterd the art, of when im busy or watching t.v and the other half is talking to me, i just say, yes dear , yes dear. at the end of the day it doesnt realy matter does it , because if we have agreed to anything without knowing it we just say, well im not keen love , but if it makes you happy. works for me. Very Happy
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Gordy
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PostPosted: Sun Feb 03, 2008 18:58 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Well that sounds like women get their own way with you Graham, which is what we want, can I swap you with Stuart please, he just says 'oh yer', which I know translates to 'not a chance'. :laugh
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graham
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PostPosted: Sun Feb 03, 2008 22:26 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

ok ali ill be round in the morning what time does stu leave for work lol
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Gordy
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PostPosted: Sun Feb 03, 2008 22:33 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

He should be gone by 7am, just make sure you bring your tools with you, I have pictures that need to go up, painting that needs to be done and the garden needs alot of work. :laugh

I hope you can also make a nice cup of tea, watching you do all that will be thirsty work... for me. :laugh
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Gordy
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PostPosted: Mon Feb 04, 2008 8:04 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Graham, you're late!!!!

Stuart has left, it is now 7.04 and you are not here, these pictures arn't going to put themselves up you know. :laugh

See, men just can't be trusted. :laugh
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Diane
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PostPosted: Mon Feb 04, 2008 8:12 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

:laugh you drive a hard bargin Ali
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