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Diane
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PostPosted: Tue Apr 01, 2008 7:41 am    Post subject: Joke Reply with quote

A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was so cold the bird froze and fell to the ground into a large field.




While he was lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on him.

As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, he began to realize how warm he was.




The dung was actually thawing him out!




He lay there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy.
A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate.





Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung, and promptly dug him out and ate him.





Morals of the story:


(1) Not everyone who s***s on you is your enemy.

(2) Not everyone who gets you out of s*** is your
friend.

(3) And when you're in deep s***, it's best to keep
your mouth shut!
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Gordy
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PostPosted: Tue Apr 01, 2008 13:08 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

That is one of my favourites!! :laugh

I have quite a few of these joke things, but most are too rude to post, but as you have **** the naughty words, it is a great one to share.

Even though I have read it a hundred times I still enjoyed reading it again, I think the moral is great and so true, lol.
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Diane
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PostPosted: Tue Apr 01, 2008 20:16 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

It was the first time I had read it i was in stitches :laugh
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Gordy
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PostPosted: Tue Apr 01, 2008 23:34 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

In that case I must send you some of my collection, that was one of my best but I have others which are really good, just too dirty to post.
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Diane
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PostPosted: Wed Apr 02, 2008 8:32 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Embarassed Embarassed Embarassed Embarassed

Ali I know your not fussed on washing up but can't you wash them a bit first before posting :laugh
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Gordy
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PostPosted: Wed Apr 02, 2008 14:24 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

If you could send me the instructions Di I would be happy to. :laugh

I have got as far as 'Take a bowl and fill it with hot soapy water' then I just get totally lost!!!! Confused
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dragonluvver
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PostPosted: Wed Apr 02, 2008 22:04 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

What's soapy? is that like eastendery? or emmerdaley? :laugh
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Gordy
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PostPosted: Wed Apr 02, 2008 23:13 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

:laugh :laugh
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Goldtrayler
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PostPosted: Thu Apr 03, 2008 21:30 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

oh no i am just too gosh darn innocent to understand what s*** means. it couldn't possibly mean something of a rude manner. so what could it mean

Shocked

*talking to a 15 year old boy here, so choose your words well or you shall ruin and corrupt his sweet and innocent ickle mind
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Gordy
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PostPosted: Thu Apr 03, 2008 21:31 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

:laugh :laugh
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PostPosted: Sun Apr 20, 2008 17:04 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

A man walks into a restaurant with a full-grown ostrich behind him. The waitress asks for their orders. The man says, 'A hamburger, fries and a coke,' and turns to the ostrich, 'What's yours?'



'I'll have the same', says the ostrich.



A short time later the waitress returns with the order. 'That will be 9.40 please,' she says and the man reaches into his pocket and pulls out the exact amount for payment.



The next day, the man and the ostrich come again and the man says, 'A hamburger, fries, and a coke.'



The ostrich says, 'I'll have the same.' Again the man reaches into his pocket and pays with exact amount.



For a while this becomes routine until the two enter again later in the week. 'The usual?' asks the waitress.



'No, this time it's a treat, so I will have a steak, baked potato, and salad,' says the man.



'Yep! Same,' says the ostrich.



Shortly the waitress brings the order and says, 'That will be 32.62.' Once again the man pulls the exact amount out of his pocket and places it on the table.



The waitress can't hold back her curiosity any longer. 'Excuse me, sir. How do you manage to always come up with the exact money from your pocket every time?'



'Well,' says the man, 'several years ago I was clearing the attic and found an old lamp. When I rubbed it a Genie appeared and offered me two wishes. My first wish was that if I ever had to pay for anything, I would just put my hand in my pocket and the right amount of money would always be there.'



'That's brilliant!' says the waitress. 'Most people would wish for a couple of million pounds or something, but you'll always be as rich as you want for as long as you live!'



'That's right. Whether it's a pint of milk or a Rolls Royce, the exact money is always there,' says the man.



The waitress asks, 'But, sir, what's with the ostrich?'



The man sighs, pauses, and replies, 'My second wish was for a tall bird with a big bum and long legs who agrees with everything I say.'
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Goldtrayler
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PostPosted: Sun Apr 20, 2008 21:36 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

thats awsome
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PostPosted: Mon Apr 21, 2008 4:24 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

That's a good one. :laugh
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